A Day’s Work

January 14, 2010

Studying

Because I do not have any labs in Physiology1002 until next Thursday, I had today off. Having woken up at a reasonable hour and having had breakfast — oatmeal porridge with cranberries, with tea on the side — I managed to force myself to spend a few hours studying.

Studying has bored me to tears since infancy — not that infants study, but you get the point — and so I have attempted to avoid it whenever I can. For the most part things have worked out well, as my grades have been more than sufficient this far, although I would not recommend anyone to follow my poor example.

Since I learnt that I need to score 60% of higher in order to continue on to study towards a Master’s degree in a few year’s time, I have started to attempt to study more, as doing research is what I have dreamt about for years. But, it is terribly hard, as I sincerely do not know how to study properly. I have to learn what I should have learnt decades ago, and the process is slow.

To keep my spirits up I have therefore decided to make studying as fun as I can, by allowing myself to draw and colour; because it is childishly fun. So, I read my text books and lecture notes, while simultaneously copying down important points on paper and illustrating with colourful pictures.

It’s a time-consuming process, but I find that I can keep at it for hours as it makes studying more of a pastime than a chore.

My greatest concern is however that I never the less will fail to reach my goal of scoring >60% on my future tests, as a great deal of the curriculum includes subjects that bore me to tears. And when the motivation to learn is lacking, even the most ambitious of efforts are in vain.

For the moment — rather than studying biochemistry — I would like to start writing a thorough draft of my fantasy novel. I have finished plotting about a third of the story, but I find the hardest part being how to start. While I wait for inspiration to strike, I study, as I reason it cannot hurt me the least.

A Shard of Eternity

July 14, 2009

Tooth of Time

In summer I travel to the most pleasing of places; a tongue of land in the vast sea upon which the winds are allowed to roam as freely as they desire, chasing the clouds away with their gentle whispers. The sun always shines in the paradise of my summers; a sparkling orb upon a cornflower blue sky, the sea applauding its daily performance from below.

As I wander barefoot by the velvet water’s edge my feet are kissed by the white-lipped waves, my song having broken the silence that has reigned for so long. Gazing into to hazy distance, above which cotton-clouds are floating past, I can see a hint of land by the horizon, and when darkness falls the shimmer of a city aglow can only barely be perceived. My summer’s paradise allows one to escape civilisation and reality to simply live and be alive by the ocean’s edge.

The beach is scattered with limestone, its tint blue, as if it paid tribute to the sky that warms it, and the ocean which has birthed it. As my bare feet, one after another, slowly are placed upon the surface of the smooth stones, they sing melodiously, their structure so fine, so fair! Sometimes, when the winds play with my long hair and the ocean sprinkles my face, I believe that I can fly.

One day, as I wandered upon my own horizon, my gaze wandered to the surface which supported me. My eyes’ journey was rewarded by the most beautiful of blessings; a shard of time itself. A stone in the shape of a shell lay before my feet, its organic origin now mineralised into limestone. It laid warm and smooth upon the palm of my hand.

My treasure and forever companion ever since is half a billion years of age, spared from the tooth of time for an eternity, it seems. What a fortunate cosmic coincidence it was that allowed me to encounter this treasure by chance alone!

This small piece of eternity is now mine to always caress.

A Stale Fresh Start

March 23, 2009

Ceramic Zoology

Everything has a beginning. Today was the first day of the new week, and it also happened to be the first day of my spring term. Of course, I realise this as well as everyone else, that the spring term is well underway. So, how come that today is my first day, and not one of the anonymous days bound to end up in the middle of a semester?

Before every beginning there is also an end, and so the reason for today being a fresh start is because I terminated the studies I previously pursued. There is a saying that goes along the lines of: “Once is nothing, twice is tradition”, and after two years I have found that terminating courses of higher studies is a tradition of mine.

For someone who is determined to one day be as sophisticated as she imagines herself being, such a tradition is of course subject to nothing but her own ridicule. But I reason as such, that as long as I am aware of what I do wrong I may continue, for knowing and not knowing is what makes all the difference. And that is the way in which I excuse myself for having failed to attain a degree for the second time in as many years.

The new course which I now have commenced studying will not taunt me with a degree mocking me from three years into the future, and I am glad. Three years is after all quite an unfathomable length of time! (At least for someone who is as fond of immediate accomplishments as am I.) No, this new course will award me no degree and I hope that this will be the motivating which I seek; perhaps without the promise of a degree I will be able to properly finish something for the first time in many years!

I am however sensing that problems do not lay far ahead and I can see the clouds of boredom looming above a rather mundane horizon.

Entrance

Fresh starts are energising, and with a smile on my face I took place in the lecture hall this morning, eagerly anticipating the start of a new course. The Diversity and Phylogeny of Organisms has such a nice ring to the ears of a person intrigued by biology, does it not?

Sadly, ten minutes into the introductory lecture I was struggling to remain awake. That I barely managed to close my eyes to get a few well-earned hours of sleep the night before was an unimportant reason to employ in an attempt to explain my fatigue; ten minutes was all that was needed to turn a fresh start stale. For, I realised that the level of education on offer had not changed despite the change of course I had put so much hope for improvement into.

My reason for having failed to yet attain a degree stems from nothing but contempt for the elementary. Since my youngest years zoology has intrigued and fascinated me, a fondness many years later having rendered me quite knowledgeable–even in matters well beyond the realm of biology. I desire for nothing more than to be granted access to the next level of education, a world from which I am banned before I have earned a degree with which to prove my worth.

But how? I ask, how will I ever be able to attain the proof which I require when even the freshest of starts is stale before it has even begun? That is a question which troubles the wise, and before it has been answered I will continue to find education one of the evils of the world. For, when studying physics the geniuses find me as unwanted a liability as I find them within my field of interest.

Everyone is different and homogeneity creates nothing but forgotten geniuses such as I.

But I shall not pass judgements this early on. I shall return tomorrow with a new smile and remember the toast I ill have for breakfast; the toast that when broken in half will remind me of that freshness lies dormant below even the stalest of crusts.